Too much diabetes, too much nagging, too many ups and downs, too much thinking about, talking about, and having to deal with diabetes. Every. Day.
But I think that's ok. We didn't ask for this. Why would we always want to think about it? Why wouldn't writing about it seem like a chore when the very existence of diabetes itself makes me want to run away screaming from time to time? How could we NOT get burned out? I think maybe it's more normal to get fed up than to be always "happy" about something that can cause so much stress and despair.
The great thing is, times like those don't last forever. Sure, we're still not excited that Leah has diabetes. Of course, we still get stressed out and have to adapt to every crazy situation that it can cause. But I think letting yourself feel all of the emotions associated with it let's you finally step away and get back to a point where you can handle it again.
For me, it's been planning Miles of Hope 2012 that has brought me back. Our event last year blew us away. 250 people came out in our little town and walked with our kids....they gave their time and money.....and we were able to donate $20,000 to research that will hopefully cure our kids one day. THAT is amazing.
So when it came time to start planning again, in the middle of what I'd consider a pretty major burnout period, I will admit it was tough at first. Spending hours and hours planning something ABOUT diabetes when you'd really like it to all just go away is hard. But I'm lucky enough to have an amazing group of moms to do this with, and we keep each other sane. Our planning meetings tend to consist of a little planning, a lot of venting, and always coffee and treats. We get each other, and what it means to live with this, and it's so nice to be surrounded by people who just KNOW.
|D-Moms at Miles of Hope 2011!|
Then there's the response you see out of family, and friends, and the community. It's amazing when you see the people starting signing up, the money starting to be raised, and the sponsors that step up and donate time, and merchandise, and make the event possible.
And then there is of course our kids. Who cares if we are stressed out, or sick of diabetes, or have been busy planning for a few months. THEY are the ones dealing with so many physical and emotional ups and downs of diabetes every day. THEY are the reason we work so hard...to help them stay healthy and to make sure they know they are not alone in this. THEY keep us motivated and are really the strong ones in all of this.
Leah has literally been counting the days until Miles of Hope this year. She has said at least five times today "I can't wait until Saturday!" Hearing that, and seeing her face surrounded by those that love her this weekend, is all I need. We will keep fighting, and keep it all in perspective, and even when it seems like too much, it never will be. There will never be enough we can do, so we'll just keep doing our best.